IUD follow up

So right after my lovely experience of expelling my IUD I made a doctor's appointment. First I had to deal with the nurse on the phone: "It did what? It came out? Ew." Then when I got there I had to explain to the medical assistant checking me in; "Wait what happened to it? It came out? Completely? Are you sure?". Yes I'm positive that it came out because it's in my fucking purse in a ziplock! The doctor said he had never heard of it happening to anyone in 18 years of practice except to (and I quote) "big women have cervix open all time". He's asian by the way. At least he gave me some sympathy and vicodin.

I'm thinking of doing this implanon thing. I'm awful at remembering to take pills and the one time I tried the Nuva ring I felt like I was shoving a jelly bracelet in my hoo-ha. And God knows my vagina would probably spit that shit out too.